It has been several years since I posted anything on this blog. Perhaps I went a little overboard with detachment. Perhaps I got lazy. Either way, I am back. I still struggle with attachment and I still have a long way to go until I can really feel like I am living a minimalist lifestyle. I have come a long way, my invisible friends, and a lot has changed since I last posted a blog. I am a homeowner now and I was also in a 4 year relationship that ended recently. I have learned a lot about myself, grown a lot, disappointed myself, and also accomplished several meaningful personal victories.
Recently, I have felt a pull towards a lot of hobbies and interests that I had before I gave myself completely to my previous relationship. It’s been an interesting journey because I hadn’t even noticed how much I had given up to focus on building a future with someone. I wasn’t listening to as much music as I used to, I rarely played guitar, and I stopped writing completely. My personal goals had changed and I must admit that I lost control of who I was and what I personally loved.
At a certain point in my relationship, I made the decision to go all in and the “me” became “us”, which was fine for the most part. Some of my friendships and relationships with my family became less important. I was all in, I was committed, I was one half of a team that I believed would change the world. We were optimistic and made plans to spend the rest of our lives together. Four years later, it all fell apart. I was alone again, but this time I did not have those same friendships and hobbies that made me happy before I started dating this woman. It’s not her fault. I gave those things up. I am still not out of the woods completely, but here I am again, spilling my guts to imaginary readers that may never see this. Lessons in detachment are coming in handy yet again.
At 35, I am finally starting to feel like an adult. With that said, I have also learned that being an adult just happens. You don’t need to do anything. It just hits you. That doesn’t mean that you have to be uptight, serious, or a square (old school). It means that you can be whatever the fuck you want, spend your money however you please, and create your own rules. I sometimes have to remind myself of all these things, but I feel like I have a pretty good handle on how to enjoy my life and not sweat the small stuff. 35 has been good to me. I feel great and I don’t look too haggard these days.
So, now what? Well, I have started buying vinyl records again, playing guitar more frequently, exploring my creative side when furnishing my home, reading, writing, reconnecting with friends and family, and narrowing my focus into fewer personal projects. I have also been building an oasis in my backyard and learning all I can about permaculture. I am hoping to change my career from electro-mechanical engineering to environmental landscape design, with a touch of modern technology. I will be adding links to my new projects as they materialize, so check back soon.